I have written so many motivational thoughts over the last 10 years that it would fill a hundred web sites. Sadly, most of those have been lost because of my computer crashing. (Thank you Ken for sending this to me, I am glad you kept it.)
This is one of them and I think of all of my thoughts this got the most response.
So you’re having a bad day…….GOOD
It’s one of those days nothing seems to go right for you. You spill your coffee on the living room carpet, you went out and your car wouldn’t start so you are late to work, the principal just called from the school and said he needed to talk to you ASAP, your ex wife said NO way was you seeing the kids this next weekend…..and on and on we go with a BAD DAY.
But just think, you DID wake up this morning! How many people in the world didn’t?? And, you DID walk out to get that first cup of coffee! How many people had to get their crutches or wheel chair to get that coffee?? You didn’t have to feel your way to the kitchen because you can still see. When you got that call from the Principal you simply picked up the phone and started talking because you are not deaf. You didn’t have to use sign language like many people in the world do.
But, how in the heck is a bad day good? Let’s talk about a couple of examples, ok. Could you truly enjoy the sunshine if you never had rain? Could you really experience the warmth of heat if you never had cold?
Could we honestly appreciate our good days if we never had a bad one? Someone said to me one time: “Wow, this is just not your day is it?” My reply was: “No it isn’t and I love it!” Naturally she looked at me like I was off my rocker. But, I went on to say to her: “You see, a bad day only means one thing, a good one is right around the corner for me”. She understood the parable and smiled.
Every day of our life is what WE make it, regardless of a bad one or good one. It’s so easy to become entrapped in a web of self pity. (I know from the experience of losing my wife and 4 kids.) But self pity only allows us to see our own situation in a negative view. Everything else around us is blocked out because we are so busy thinking about YOU that nothing else matters. The world passes us by because we are just too busy to see anything good that comes our way.
Ask yourself: What lessons can I learn or things that COULD go wrong on this bad day? Write them down if you want and you probably will come to the conclusion (as I have many times) that it really isn’t such a bad day after all.
So the next time you have a bad day, or week, just think: A good one is right around the corner! Get off your pity wagon and LOOK for it, it will be there for you.
Garry
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"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light." Albert Schweitzer
This is so true, especially in my own life. Personally, for a long time I was not in the mood to continue writing. But, recently I met a beautiful lady that sparked my flame again into a full blown forest fire. She has given me the inspiration to write, not only motivational thoughts but poems, and for that I am grateful. Even though nobody knows who you are, thank you Lois.
Have you ever been to the point in your life where you want to give up? I mean to the point where you just want to walk out of this life? I have, several times. Then you meet someone that gives you the lift to keep fighting. It could be through their compassion, humor, or empathy. The nice thing is that person probably never understands completely how they have affected you. But, your light comes back on and you stand back up, ready to go on and continue your fight. The light we are talking about is our inner light. Our motivation, our desires, our heartfelt gratitude for life.
Oliver Goldsmith once said: “Our greatest glory consist not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” We all fall at times, but getting back up is the important thing. Happily, sometimes it is someone else that helped us back on our feet through their kindness and understanding, yet they do not know it. The friendship they have given comes natural to them. The joy they possess comes from the heart and luckily has overflowed into your own life. For that we should be thankful and show our gratitude by being there for them if they need a lift. What an interchange of encouragement that would be.
Have a great week and keep smiling-
Smiles from Garry
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“If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” Erica Jong
There are a lot of situations in life that each of us can look back on with a certain amount of regret: making the wrong decisions, bad relationships, taking the wrong job, etc. Personally, I feel the worst situation we can be in is what people call the “comfort zone”. That may sound weird to most people but let’s talk about what it means to be in YOUR “comfort zone”. You live each day and usually do the same things every day. You get up in the morning, stretch and yawn, eat breakfast, go to work, come home and eat dinner, watch TV, and go to bed. Usually the person in his/her “comfort zone” doesn’t really know what goes on around them. Each day is the same as yesterday. But remaining in our “comfort zones” means we have lost our desire to get ahead, to find fulfilling achievements. We’ve actually lost our vitality for life itself.
A friend and I was eating at Denny’s last weekend and she was telling me that since breaking up with her companion four months ago she is terrified of taking another risk by becoming involved in another relationship. I asked her what was the one main thing she missed about being together with someone. Surprisingly she said: “I love to cuddle every night”. Ah, by refusing to take another risk and getting involved with someone she is actually losing out on a REWARD. (I am not suggesting someone run right out and get into a relationship just to cuddle, but for every risk you take there is a reward of some kind.) Taking a risk means getting rewards whether that risk finds success or not. Learning from failures is a great teacher, though sometimes painful. One of the greatest rewards of taking a risk, whether it is a new job, new mate, new business, is what it does to US. It builds our self esteem, self respect and we know we have not lost the determination to succeed.
Here’s a thought I found on the internet under risk taking: “It's better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late.” How true that is! Sometimes we agonize over a certain decision and we put it off because of fear of being wrong. Usually, that is when we look back and say: “If only I would have…..” Too late the realization comes that we waited too long agonizing over a decision and we have lost that job, lost our lifetime mate, or the business was sold to someone else, etc.
Sure, it is spooky sometimes to step outside that comfort zone and go for the big plan, but living with fear is no life at all. Overcoming that fear is what is important. If we are not willing to take risks we will never know what rewards we have missed along the “comfort zone” highway.
All of you have a great and fulfilling weekend-
Garry
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"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy." Robert Anthony
When I saw this I started laughing. You see, I have lived and worked around Senior Citizens for the last couple of years. It has always amazed me that when some get to a ripe older age they actually think they have “earned” the right to be a grouch. I have one lady where I work that goes out of her way to complain about everything, and I mean everything. She complained because the walls were a certain color and so we changed them to the color she wanted to make her happy. Then, she complained because she thought the yellow she picked out was a different shade. I told her one day: “It is a shame to sit around and worry about something to worry about. What a waste of life and happiness”. You got it, she complained because I was so bold to say that and show disrespect to a senior citizen. LOL
Have we ever found ourselves in that situation? We complain about everything. It is too hot outside or too cold! The chili didn’t have enough pepper in it! This whole mess is the President’s fault! My mother raised me that way and I can’t change!
If we have discovered to our dismay that we are complaining about everything there is only two words that can describe our illness: SELF PITY….. It is wrong to believe that conditions or situations in our life leads to self pity. After all, it depends on how we handle each situation that could lead to self pity or finding a solution to our problem. One of the best ways to overcome self pity is to help others. Find someone that needs help and offer free help to them. Give of yourself to others and you will find the results so rewarding that probably you will make it your lifetime goal.
After my divorce I fell into a major trap of self pity. I would sit around and think of every reason in the book why that should not have happened to ME. At that point in my life it never occurred to me that really it happened to US. She was just as confused as I was about the reasons and outcome. But, oh no, it was ME that hurt. I met this therapist and started going to sessions to get my life back on track. One day she told me: “Garry, you are doing great but I think it might do you a lot of good to go down to the Children’s Hospital and visit some of those kids.” So off I went, and let me tell you, when I left that hospital I went out in my car and CRIED. To see those kids dying from cancer, aids, and crippled just broke me up. It was at that point I decided that ME didn’t have it so bad after all.
So, why spend time making sure we are miserable when it takes a lot less effort and energy to find happiness? Since that time in my life I have always made a great effort to make someone laugh each day, after all, when they are laughing so am I.
Cheers for the weekend…………it looks like snow is coming to Denver!!!
Smiling Garry
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"Play the smiling game in your daily life. See how many people you can get to smile back at you. Keep score and tally the results at the end of each day." -- Josh S. Hinds
This is a great game to play with yourself. It is not only good for others but you might be shocked at how good it makes you feel. One day I was in a 7-11, got my items and went to the cashier and laid them on the counter. I said Good Morning and he wouldn’t even speak to me, just looked at me like I was recently released from the batty farm. So I went outside, put my things in my truck, and then drew a smiley face on the palm of my hand with my ink pen. I went back inside and waited in the lineup. When I got to the “grouch” I said: “I went outside and found this laying on the sidewalk and just knew you could use it.” I had my hand in a fist (maybe he thought I was going to hit him….lol) and then I put it right in front of his face and opened my hand. You know what, he smiled, then started laughing and we both had a good laugh together. He apologized and from that day on when I went in to get something he would say, “Hello Smiley” and once again we got a good laugh together.
The fun part with this kind of a game is that sometimes you really have to “work” at making someone smile. You have to think of innovative ways to make them pucker up. Here’s a couple of ways I use, ok. If it is a lady I will tell her “Congratulations” and she will ask what for. Then I say, “For winning the Miss America Contest yesterday”. Believe me, she will smile! Or, you might say to her, “I will be a gentleman and hold the door open for you, but it will cost you a smile”. For a man, it is a little trickier, at least what I have found. One thing I have said to a man that seems to always work is, “If I was half as smart as you I’d be President”. If someone ask you for a favor, “Sure, I’d love to and the only thing I ask of you is a SMILE.”
It actually is fun to make someone smile. Try it, you will be smiling too. Then write me back and tell me how it went.
Let’s face it, with the world in the condition it is now, there simply is not enough smiles, so join the Smiley Club and make others smile along with you.
Have a great and smiley week-
Garry
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"Life's like a boom-a-rang. The more good you throw out, the more you receive in return." -- Josh S. Hinds
I have a plague on my office wall that says: Don’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. Be willing to throw something back once in awhile.
And yes, life is like a boom-a-rang. What we throw out will eventually come back to us, whether it is good or bad. Over the years I have written motivational thoughts I have tried very hard not to include any religious or political connotations. But, the saying “We reap what we sow” is just too applicable here to not include it.
Usually, not only do we receive what we give to others back, but it seems to come back tenfold. That is the good thing about giving to others without expecting anything back from that person. When it does come back to us the majority of the time it comes from someone or some avenue that we never expected. It seems to be human nature to wait in anticipation to receive back from the ones we helped.
Going through a divorce solidifies that point. The very ones you have associated with, played cards with, had them over for barbecues, and all of a sudden they disappear and can’t be found when the trauma hits. I went through that too but luckily I had an older brother that came to my emotional rescue and financially helped me. Yet, I hadn’t really done much in our relationship as brothers to help him. What I had done to help others (the deserters) came back to me from a totally unexpected source.
Don’t be afraid to throw out some good but make sure you do it because your heart motivates you, not to get something back in return. It will come back to you eventually.
With the economic upheaval around the world it should be a great time to help others, emotionally, physically and financially.
Cold in Denver but our hearts are still warm-
Smiling Garry
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"Don't ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person." Shared by Kristen Goeser
If we ask for an easier life, we are really asking to take a shortcut in the experiences that life has to offer, thus missing so many opportunities to improve ourselves. It is through those experiences that we cultivate the learning process of how to handle situations that constantly crop up. It is easy to want an easier life, we all do, and if I said that I didn’t I would be lying to myself. But, becoming a stronger person is what makes for a lasting change for the better, not only for us, but for all the people we come in contact with.
The question that comes up though, is: How can I make myself a stronger person? After doing a lot of reading (Connie Skye’s book, Aim High is a great example) I have learned quite a few things about how to be stronger. It is amazing how many people spend money on motivational books and yet never read them. That is sad to me, that a person can come so close to a desire to change and yet “back off” from taking the steps to actually make those changes.
Here is what I discovered in my research: If you want to be a winner, never say to anyone or YOURSELF that you are a victim of circumstances. Each of us have to decide that if we are a victim then it is only because we have allowed it. I have a very good friend from California that emailed me a couple of weeks ago and made the statement that he has lost his self confidence because other people have taken it from him. I wrote back and asked him what he was doing to get it back, and his reply was very disturbing to me. Mike said: “Nothing Garry, I really don’t think I will ever get it back!” And you know, he is PROBABLY RIGHT if he keeps telling himself he can’t, believe me, he won’t.
The more you say you can’t do something, the more your brain agrees with you! Stop plugging in negative thoughts and IMMEDIATELY take steps to input positive thoughts. When you are have taken control of yourself, your mind, and your body, you will automatically be proud of yourself and gain that much needed self respect.
STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN……….. Stop accepting that you CAN’T be a stronger person, YOU CAN! Look in life’s mirror and find out what qualities you need to improve to make you stronger, and then Listen (by way of reading or listening to tapes) to motivational thoughts that will aid you in your positive flight toward a happier and richer life.
Have a wonderful week-
Garry
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“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
To me Helen Keller has always been a great inspiration. Having eyesight in only one eye like I do, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be totally blind, and yet Helen Keller, although being blind, saw so many truths about everyday living in a world of stress. It seems to be human nature to allow ourselves to be wrapped up in self pity and sometimes to the point that when a trauma hits us we are so engrossed in that “bad” experience that when a new door is opened for us, we don’t even see it. Or, worse yet, we may see it for what it is but take it for granted.
Dr. Howard Cutler wrote a book called, The Art of Happiness. You might want to get this book and read it with an open mind and heart. To me, it defines HOW each of us can find and sustain true happiness. In his book he gives the sources of happiness and they are as follows:
(this is a quote from his book)
1. The purpose of life is happiness.
2. Happiness is determined more by the state of one’s mind than by one’s external conditions, circumstances, or events – at least once one’s basic survival needs are met.
3. Happiness can be achieved through the systematic training of our hearts and minds, through reshaping our attitudes and outlook.
4. The key to happiness is in our hands.
There are two points here that really stand out to me. Happiness can be obtained through a systematic training of our hearts and minds. If we keep telling ourselves that we are not happy, WE WON’T BE. Period!! The other point is that the key to happiness is in OUR hands. Each individual has the power to make or break themselves. (end of quote)
Sadly, when one door closes on our happiness it is human tendency to sit around and mope, or cry ourselves to sleep. We become so enthralled in that “past” experience that even if a new door or avenue of finding happiness hits us in the face, we reject it.
I personally think that one of the saddest experiences is that eventually that new door will close too and then we are left totally in the dark. Ignoring the door, or showing a lack of appreciation for it only leads for that door to close, because one can only offer help for so long and then they have to back off and go where they too can get a positive flow returned to them.
If you are not happy now, MAKE IT HAPPEN, only you can do it.
Have a wonderful week-
Garry
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"Things will happen in your life that you can't stop, but that's no reason to shut out the world. There's a purpose for the good and for the bad." ---"Crazy Pete" Sims (Walter Sparrow), Now and Then
At times in our lives I am sure that all of us feel like finding a cave and shutting out the rest of the world. I know I sure have. Circumstances happen in our lives that there is nothing we can do about it. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to prevent that circumstance or change it. If we stop to think about it, in a way that is good too. If we could change those bad circumstances to a good one, how could we ever learn to deal with life in general? Bad things that happen, happen for a reason. It is through the bad things that happen in our lives that teaches us patience, perseverance, and empathy for others, if we allow it to. If we could change those circumstances we would be robots. I have said for some time it would be nice to have a reset button on our heart and when we go through a bad experience that causes us pain, just push the reset button….lol. But the only lesson we would learn from that would be how to push the reset button.
It totally depends on how we react to these bad occasions as to how we can truly learn from them. Do we blame others for what we might have done wrong? It’s easy to do that. Too easy! Or, are we honest with ourselves and analyze our actions? I personally think there is a very thin line between analyzing and condemning ourselves. It is good to ask yourself questions that will lead to improvement, but, at the same time preventing a total condemnation of yourself. That only leads to more stress and confusion, and destroying our self esteem. Finding the balance can be very difficult sometimes.
The good experiences in life are also a teaching tool. They teach us appreciation, gratitude and also teaches us the same attributes as the bad experiences do. Patience: be patient when bad circumstances happen because a good experience will replace it soon. Perseverance: persevere through the bad ones knowing you in the learning process of life and good experiences will be yours to enjoy soon. Empathy: knowing what others go through aids us in developing a non-jealous attitude of those that are happy.
It is our view of the bad experiences that totally control us. We could respond with a very negative attitude and become despondent. That would lead only to more stress in our lives. Or, we could view it as another lesson to be learned and go about changing our lives to better cope if that experience ever happens again.
Elbert Hubbard once said: “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be afraid you will make one”.
This is so true! That type of attitude will only leave us bound up in a life of fear. We are all humans and going to make mistakes which bring about bad circumstances. Sometimes we sit back and won’t make a decision about something because we are scared that it may lead to something bad happening. They say that indecision is worse then a bad decision because it eats away at us and erodes the time we could have spent thinking about something positive.
So, for the rest of 2008 let’s all do our best to learn from those bad experiences instead of running from them.
Have a great week everybody-
Garry
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“Some people are so afraid of making a mistake that they live in fear and indecision and in the process they make the biggest mistake of their lives. Sadly, life passes them by and the very thing or person that can bring them true happiness, joy, love or hope slowly fades and is lost to sight before they even know it, gone forever. They never make the top because they are just too busy being on the bottom.“
Zig Ziglar in his book, Over The Top
There is really nothing I can add to what Mr. Ziglar has stated as fact. If you want to read a book that is truly a motivational tool, read Over The Top.
This was sent to me by a good friend. Thank you Earl and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
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"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page" -- Mark Houlahan
The very first step in making your life a magnificent story is to recognize that YOU are the AUTHOR. You are the only one that can really control your life. You are the only one that can write a new page every day. Nobody else will do it for you. Oh true, some may help you along the path but when it comes to stumbling stone, you will be on your own. You are the one that has to find a way over or around that stumbling block. I had an experience here at the apartment complex where I am Maintenance Manager. A couple of days ago a guest was waiting at the elevator to visit one of the residents. Suddenly, he had a heart attack and died right in the front lobby. As I watched this happen it brought to my mind many things. One, how sudden we are gone. Two, it made me realize that each day we have a golden opportunity to write a new page in our life. The fact remains, we never know when our last page will be written. I couldn’t help but ask myself: What did I do yesterday that made me happy and proud of being alive? Not only should we be concerned about ourselves but take the time to observe others and how you can make them smile. The reward is so beautiful to both of you.
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"The greatest good we can do for others is not to share our riches with them, but to reveal their own." Benjamin Disraeli
Sharing money with others is a good thing if they are truly in need. Today, more then ever in our lifetime, material things abound with great abundance. It is a fool that thinks material things gain happiness and freedom. It is a known fact that the more we have, the more we want. So, material things, instead of bringing that sought after happiness usually brings on grief and greed. On the other hand, the desire to help others by bringing out the best in them, highlighting their good qualities, not only is effective in making that person a better person, but adds true joy to each of us.
How can we bring out the best in others? It is quite simple really. First we have to LOOK for that good quality and then recognize it. A simple statement like “You sure are good at knitting and make such beautiful scarves” is a compliment and yet stated so simple. Or a statement like “I sure wish I could fix motors like you do” helps build self esteem and self confidence. You are revealing to that person the “good” things they are able to perform. One word of caution though, don’t throw out compliments like you are giving bread to ducks. Be honest in your appraisal and let it come from the heart. False compliments are easy to detect and more harm will be done then good.
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